I'm going to whine.......

You know, I try not to complain too much. I can look around for a whole five seconds and always find someone that has it worse than I do. In the big grand scheme of things, my life is very do-able.

And most of the time I manage to keep that perspective based on one condition: life is great as long as I stay in what I call my bubble. Let me explain. When you have a special needs child your day to day life takes on a different meaning. You tend to even have a vocabulary that most people don't hear i.e. developmental delays, therapy goals, sensory input, spectrum issues, etc. These are also part of my 'bubble.'

Since I am blessed enough to be a stay at home mom, it also enables me to be at almost EVERY therapy appointment 2x each week. I like being there during the therapy transitions so I can hear firsthand how my little man did and what they are currently working on. So it's always awesome when you hear how great he's doing and how he's meeting his goals and how they can tell I work with him A LOT at home. ;)

However, all it takes is one moment around NT (neuro-typical) children Aden's age to burst my bubble. Literally. About the time we have several good therapy sessions in a row and I think, 'Wow, I so got this!' then reality kicks me in the butt. I am already having a panic attack thinking about things like VBS coming up this summer. There are so many precious little ones there the same age as Aden. They are potty trained, talking, coloring pictures, can sit and watch videos, and the list goes on. My chunky monkey can't do any of those things. Last year during VBS I volunteered in the preschool class like always and it almost killed me. After coming home from Church (yes, I know), I would grab the biggest wine glass I could find and fill that bad boy to the rim. Then my poor wine glass and I climbed into a bubble bath and cried. Every. Single. Night. For a week. It was great.

So that leads me to this: How do you keep from just completely flipping out on a daily basis? How do I keep from worrying about his future and just make it through the next day, week, or month? How do I keep from wondering if he will ever have a girlfriend, go to college, have a good job, be self-sufficient? I halfway jokingly told a mom at therapy that I needed to figure out how to take the man approach. You now, if I don't think about then it's all ok. LOL

I guess time will only tell, huh? In the meantime, I hope the people at the liquor store don't have the chance to know me on a first name basis. ;)